Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Time Traveler

So today I'm eating lunch when a guy comes in wearing black pants, a tan tie, and a brown button down shirt with a vest over it. He also has a pocket watch hanging at his side and he's wearing a monocle instead of regular eyeglasses. Yup, a fucking monocle...So naturally, I think he's a time traveler.

Anyway, he sits down and takes out an old fashioned notebook, way fancier than any moleskin I've every seen, and he places a glass jar next to it. Then he takes out a pen, really old school, with a metal tip on it that you dip into ink in order to write. And that's when I realize what the jar's far! We gotta fucking Benjamin Franklin on our hands! So he dips his old fashioned pen into his old fashioned jar of ink, and then he starts writing in his old fashioned notebook. He's real serious about it, too, like he's signing the constitution and determining the fate of our nation with a signature.

So as you can imagine, I'm sitting there with my mouth hanging open, and I quickly decide that I NEED to find out what this guy's writing. I mean, this is the classiest fella I've ever seen in my life, and he's just sitting here in my favorite lunch spot! So I walk over to him, nice and easy, and I slowly peak over his shoulder...and guess what he's writing? Nothing. He's drawing pictures... Pictures of BOOBIES! Yup, boobies. All shapes and sizes, too. So I stare at him, not sure I believe what I'm seeing at first, and I start laughing. Real loud, and the guy looks up at me all incredulous like and covers his notebook. But I don't give in, I just keep staring at him, chuckling away, because there's something about a time traveling pervert that I find very, very funny.

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