Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Bad Waitress

So I go to this restaurant down the street from my work a lot, and they just hired a new waitress. The girl's a trip. She fucks up orders, drops things, and is basically a bad SNL skit. BUT despite her shortcomings as a waitress, she's extremely sweet and apologetic, so sweet that it's hard to ever get upset with her.

So last week I go to the restaurant, and as usual the waitress is a kindhearted mess. She drops a plate, spills a coffee, and mixes up peoples credit cards. We're all shaking our heads... And then she comes to my table with a wobbly plate, and I look down at it and sigh.

"I'm sorry, but I asked for a salad with this, not fries."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so stupid. Stupid, stupid!"

She's apologetic, as usually, but it's not sweet like I'm used to.

"It's fine," I say. "Not a big deal."

"But it is a big deal! I'm stupid. I'm such a stupid person!"

And she hits my table. Hard. We stare at each other. A few customers turn and stare. We're all silent, waiting to see what she'll do next, until she finally goes back to the kitchen with her head down. A minute later she returns with my correct order, making no eye contact with me or anyone else, though we're all watching. I pause. I want to say something to her, comforting words, but I just sit there, and she's leaves.

So the next day I come back to the restaurant and there's no bad waitress. I go a few days later and there's no plate dropping or drink spilling. And I keep going and going and I still never see her. So obviously, she's gone. And that's probably a good thing. I mean, she wasn't a good waitress, in fact, she was a horrible waitress, but that doesn't mean she was stupid. It doesn't mean she should have called herself stupid. And most importantly it doesn't mean she should have let a fucking restaurant goer like me ever make her feel stupid. Because she wasn't, and I really wish I had told her that.

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