Something I found in my notebook. Sept. 2009?
Remember when you were little and you saw big trucks drive by? So you would bend your elbow and raise your arm up and down, trying to get the driver to honk his horn? Well, I did that today and guess what happened? The driver leaned out of his window and said this:
"Fuck you, faggot!"
So I got to thinking. Do you think...
A - The driver actually thought I was gay?
B - The driver was in a rotten mood and doesn't like adults playing child like games?
C - The driver is against playfulness in general?
Now it would be easy to assume the driver is just another ass hole, but that's exactly why I don't want to do it. I mean, it was easy for him to call me a faggot, so I'd rather not follow his simpleton path by responding with another vulgar name. So Instead I'm going to think. Ready...Set... So when people see strangers they usually use single words to classify/ describe them. I mean, we don't have the time or the want to actually learn who everyone is, so by yelling "ass hole" or "hoe bag" or many other silly things that I'll let you imagine on your own, we're just connecting with other humans in our simple, cave person way. So that being said, is it better to connect with a person than to not connect with them at all? Even if the connection is only for a split second and is negative, is that better than nothing? Sure being called a faggot wasn't a nice thing, but it was still a thing, and things are what keep us all going. So you know what?! I'm going to forgive you, Mr. Truck Driver, because before I go any farther and start sounding too existential for my own good, here's a thought for the universe: emptiness is a distant second to vulgarity and anger.
It might not be true, but it makes life a little easier.