Sunday, April 4, 2010

Peoples Butts

My girlfriend likes my butt. I try not to think about my butt, but she brings it up quite a bit in conversations. Anyway, this is what I'm getting at...

I keep imagining an old woman describing the butt of her lover from when she was in her early 20's. How perfectly round it was. Hairless. Smooth. Something you could cup in the palm of your two hands. A little dimple on the side only encouraging you to poke at it with your index finger.

Now I imagine the same old woman with the same lover from her early 20's, and how his butt is now sagging. Long white hairs, wrinkles, and maybe a mole or two have sprouted. But she still loves her lover, and she tells everyone what an amazing butt he once had. And most importantly, she tells her lover that his butt, from way back when, is better than any other butt struttin' around today.

My butt is going to sag one day. So will yours. I mean, it's a butt, it has to. And that's a good thing! I hope all of our butts sag and get gross, because the only thing worse than a saggy butt is a young, beautiful dead one.

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