At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'm still going to say this: Growing up is hard. You spend four years, if you were fortunate like me, in a rather carefree environment, one that was stressful, but still welcomed with arms wide open. Then you leave, on your own terms (if you're lucky) and you have the next four years. These, needless to say, are quiet different than the last. No course schedule, no meal cards, no health insurance, and not even a place to live without returning to your nest.
So you get a job. You have to, unless you have a source of outside funding (pretty fortunate if you do) and you take the first job that comes your way, regardless if it has anything to do with your education/ training, and most importantly (and sadly), anything to do with what you want. And then you work. And you work some more. And you realize that all the moments in your life when you thought you were tired, you weren't. You realize "time" is an actual thing, and she, my friend, is a slippery mother fucker. You realize any plan you had, any road you wanted to follow, and dare I say dream, were thoughts, not tangible items, and thoughts, unfortunately, can be forgotten.
It's easy to forget things when you're tired. It's easy to feel like you've become a person based on choices you weren't ready to make.
But there are two things I continually remind myself to push through it all, and, once again, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'm still going to say it: Be kind, and keep your chin up. I really think that's all you can do.
My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. He has a quote that goes something like this:
"We are on earth to fart around and don’t let anybody tell you different.”
And here's a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's son - Mark (there's been a lot of Marks in my life, and they've all played an interesting role).
"We’re here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."
I love quotes. I love words. I love thoughts. I'm feeling very sentimental right now, but I just want to tell you all that there's more out there than this; I promise, and it's beautiful.