Let's Get Up Close And Personal.

Now that I'm running, I've been getting very bad chafing on my inner thighs.

I know, I know, this may be more information than you're prepared to hear, but if you actually read this blog then I'd say you and I are pretty tight by now, and I'm ready to do this.

Back to my chafe.

It is awful. SO awful! It's like hundreds of little bee stings all around my nethers. So I did a little research and realized that this is a very common problem plaguing the public from coast to coast, but with the innovation and technological developments of modern man, we've actually come up with a remedy to this terrible affliction:

Gold Bond.

Gold Bond is fucking great, and if anyone disagrees with you on this you can personally tell them I said to fuck off. That's how much I believe in this product.

Just close your eyes and imagine replacing hundreds of bee stings with hundreds of butterfly kisses. That's Gold Bond.

I tried it recently and it was like relearning how to walk. I was instantly transformed into a delicate fawn taking it's first frolick in an open field of daisy's and sunshine...

It'll be hard, but I'll try not to rub it on my face...Okay, I've shared enough.

Cheese

Today I had to get a picture ID made for my new job! I waltzed down to the ID Center, waited in line, and then finally was told to stand behind a yellow divider thingy while a woman focused a camera on my face.

"Ready," the woman said. "Three...two..."

And then I smiled big, REAL big, because for whatever reason I wanted to have a HUGE smile on my ID - not to be silly, but because big smiles are great. And then the woman behind the camera laughed at me. And then this other woman standing nearby laughed at me, too! GEEZE!...I guess I had a freakishly big smile on my face. I don't know...

"Wow!" the woman said. "Someone's happy!"

And we all laughed for a minute. It was very silly/ very awkward (mostly for me). So I took a deep breath, put a more normal sized smile on my face, and the picture was taken.

Click.

And here's the lesson: Be careful whom you share your big smiles with. Not everyone can take them.

Favorite Sentence Of The Week: # 1

"T.C.B., Brotha - takin' care of business."