I wrote these both in the same sitting. SOOOO, I thought I'd put them together!
Must be tough being a woman sometimes. Must be tough having people stare at you, and knowing the only thing they want is your flesh.
I knew a girl once, and she said she hated when people, mostly men, complemented her eyes.
"I don't have anything to do with my eyes," she said. "It's genetics, they were passed down to me. I want to be complemented on things I've created."
As a man, unable to fully understand how it actually feels to be a woman, the above idea is the closest I can get to figuring it out.
It makes me realize that sometimes women must feel like they live in a world where no one wants to know who they actually are, but instead, everyone just wants from them the things they had no choice in creating.
Maybe that doesn't make sense. Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe anytime a man tries to describe this sort of thing it should be indecipherable - like caveman writings on a stone wall.
I'm sitting on the steps of a church right now. It's dusk. People are continually walking by, occasionally looking up, and making strange faces pointed in my direction. But I'm completely still. It took me a bit, but eventually I noticed the half of a dozen homeless people sprawled out behind me. The kind where it's obvious they're homeless.
People keep walking by, they keep making faces, and I'm surprised how comfortable I feel.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Hello
At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'm still going to say this: Growing up is hard. You spend four years, if you were fortunate like me, in a rather carefree environment, one that was stressful, but still welcomed with arms wide open. Then you leave, on your own terms (if you're lucky) and you have the next four years. These, needless to say, are quiet different than the last. No course schedule, no meal cards, no health insurance, and not even a place to live without returning to your nest.
So you get a job. You have to, unless you have a source of outside funding (pretty fortunate if you do) and you take the first job that comes your way, regardless if it has anything to do with your education/ training, and most importantly (and sadly), anything to do with what you want. And then you work. And you work some more. And you realize that all the moments in your life when you thought you were tired, you weren't. You realize "time" is an actual thing, and she, my friend, is a slippery mother fucker. You realize any plan you had, any road you wanted to follow, and dare I say dream, were thoughts, not tangible items, and thoughts, unfortunately, can be forgotten.
It's easy to forget things when you're tired. It's easy to feel like you've become a person based on choices you weren't ready to make.
But there are two things I continually remind myself to push through it all, and, once again, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'm still going to say it: Be kind, and keep your chin up. I really think that's all you can do.
My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. He has a quote that goes something like this:
"We are on earth to fart around and don’t let anybody tell you different.”
And here's a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's son - Mark (there's been a lot of Marks in my life, and they've all played an interesting role).
"We’re here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."
I love quotes. I love words. I love thoughts. I'm feeling very sentimental right now, but I just want to tell you all that there's more out there than this; I promise, and it's beautiful.
So you get a job. You have to, unless you have a source of outside funding (pretty fortunate if you do) and you take the first job that comes your way, regardless if it has anything to do with your education/ training, and most importantly (and sadly), anything to do with what you want. And then you work. And you work some more. And you realize that all the moments in your life when you thought you were tired, you weren't. You realize "time" is an actual thing, and she, my friend, is a slippery mother fucker. You realize any plan you had, any road you wanted to follow, and dare I say dream, were thoughts, not tangible items, and thoughts, unfortunately, can be forgotten.
It's easy to forget things when you're tired. It's easy to feel like you've become a person based on choices you weren't ready to make.
But there are two things I continually remind myself to push through it all, and, once again, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'm still going to say it: Be kind, and keep your chin up. I really think that's all you can do.
My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. He has a quote that goes something like this:
"We are on earth to fart around and don’t let anybody tell you different.”
And here's a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's son - Mark (there's been a lot of Marks in my life, and they've all played an interesting role).
"We’re here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."
I love quotes. I love words. I love thoughts. I'm feeling very sentimental right now, but I just want to tell you all that there's more out there than this; I promise, and it's beautiful.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Brett, you've got it going on...
Today on the subway I saw this man, and let me tell you, this is a good man. He is a musician/ actor whose work I've been a fan of for quite sometime.
Anyway, I was sitting when he entered the train, and in order for me to get a clear view of him, I began leaning to my side, much farther than I should have been leaning. Much too far, and I didn't even notice when my head was right in front of a woman's crotch, positioned in a way that was deserving of any sound sexual harassment case. So I pulled away, fast, losing sight of my celebrity spotting. I was motionless, and the woman stared down at me. She could have said a lot of things, but she only said THIS.
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